


People, Places, Things

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Song fic, all sadness and no fluff here, break up fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-03
Updated: 2006-05-03
Packaged: 2019-03-09 14:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13483143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: It's been a year since Dick last saw Roy Harper.He's finally stopped believing Roy will come back.





	People, Places, Things

**Author's Note:**

>  Plot ripped shamelessly from "Everytime I Hear Your Name," by Keith Anderson.  Lyrics are reprinted following the story.  LOL it's from 2006; we all wrote song fic back then. 
> 
> Spoilers from: Nightwing 119, Green Arrow post OYL, vague ones for DCU post OYL, multiple mentionings of Outsiders issues pre-OYL.

It's been a year since Dick last saw Roy Harper.

He's finally stopped believing Roy will come back.

These days, when he goes into battle, he doesn't automatically wait anymore for Roy to take his place before Dick makes his own move. He no longer misses complaining about how easily Roy's obnoxious cologne will give away their position. Dick's stopped harboring the deep rooted belief that Roy needs the adrenaline rush of the fight, the sense of belonging . . . or _him_.

Reality has made it clear that, contrary to what Dick previously believed, Roy _won't_ be the one Titan to always have his back. _Their_ Titans are finished, and Dick's accepted that. Hell, he's grateful they're both still alive.

Most days, Dick doesn't even think about how good the days of _their_ Titans were. Nostalgia is pointless and Dick can't spear the time to mourn a life that he now knows he'll never have back.

But sometimes, he speaks to Donna on the telephone.

Sometimes, she says Roy's name.

In that moment, every ounce of acceptance that Dick's struggled so hard to grasp in the past year falls away. The rest of the world follows suite. . .

_//. . . And he's thirteen years old, standing in front of Speedy for the first time. His words and face are heated, but his brain can't quite understand why, for the first time in his life, he feels self conscious in his costume._

_. . . He's sitting on a couch next to Speedy, feeling guilty for having so much fun because it goes against everything Bruce has ever taught._

_. . . He's sprawling on the mat with Speedy, as Robin discovers how much fun sparing can be. Roy is easily thrown on his back, and those happy, dancing blue eyes look up at Dick invitingly. . . //_

There are no more invitations, and Dick has accepted that.

The small things don’t bother him anymore, either.

He's finally stopped turning his head every time a red-haired man walks past. His steps never even miss a beat when he hears a throaty chuckle that sounds so much like Roy's laughter.

He's finally able to drive past a red sports car without memories of a back seat rendevous resurfacing. He can walk by the vehicle without his eyes watering, and idle curiosity doesn't even make him want to lean in to see if the car is environmentally sound.

He can walk right past any six year old black-haired girl and not long to hear "Uncle Dick!" shouted in Lian's exuberant manner.

He can watch a game on TV without wishing Roy was watching it with him.

Even watching a television interview with the newly elected Mayor Queen isn't difficult. Dick doesn't think of all the times Green Arrow and Speedy stood beside Batman and Robin in battle. He makes it through the entire interview with his only concern being how in the hell gay marriages are going to bring enough revenue to Star City to revive it. But then a reporter asks about Ollie's children.

He mentions them by name. And Dick's no longer sitting on a beat up couch in an empty loft. . .

_//. . . He has to be gentle with Roy, because he's been shot. There are bullet holes. . and he'd almost lost Roy. Dick's leaning close to Roy's in their bed, drinking in the scent, just thankful that he's still alive._

_. . . Roy is wearing the Deathstroke costume, and Dick has on the costume he hasn't worn in half a decade. The hands are angry, insistent, and demanding._

_. . The latest attempt with Babs has failed miserably yet again, but Dick doesn't care. He doesn't even care about Tarantula, or Blockbuster, or any of the aftermath. All he cares about is the warmth of Roy's mouth, the firmness of Roy's grasp, and the willingness of Roy's consent. . . .//_

There isn't any consent anymore, and Dick's accepted that.

There's someone else giving her consent these days. Dick doesn't close his eyes anymore and wish that her fingers belonged to someone else. He doesn't grip her red hair and remember how good Roy's had felt back before the crew cut.

He never calls Roy's name.

But sometimes, Cheyenne wants more than sex. Sometimes she wants to talk, and sometimes she wants to talk about the lives they had before they met. There's so much he _can't_ tell her, so he feels obligated to share every bit of the part of his life that he _can_ share.

So he tells her about friends, and past loves. Kory's name rolls off his tongue without a pause as does Babs' name.

But then he has to tell her about Roy. The minute Roy's name slips past his lips, Dick's no longer lying in her bed.

_//. . . They're fighting, even though Roy is *right,* and Dick can feel his hand striking Roy's face. He sees the blood pouring from Roy's nose._

_. . . They're fighting again, and this time, Dick is telling Roy to stay down._

_. . . They aren't fighting anymore. They can't, because Roy is almost in as bad of shape as Dick. But Roy is leaning over Dick's hospital bed, saying goodbye.//_

He's stopped wishing he'd spent more time saying goodbye.

The regrets aren't as strong these days, either. He's stopped wishing he'd let Roy know exactly how he felt. He no longer wonders why he looked so long and hard for the happiness they had with someone else. He's stopped wondering what ever possessed him to propose to a woman that could never love him as selflessly as Roy had. He's even stopped aching whenever he hears the words "Outsiders."

But sometimes Roy calls to check in.

The conversations aren't painful anymore, but they _are_ always short. He always tries to sound as upbeat and happy as possible.

But the minute the conversation ends with "Goodbye, Roy,"  Dick's left with the familiar feeling that used to haunt him daily.  It's the feeling of _"Robin was Batman's sidekick, but Arsenal was Nightwing's partner,"_ and how is he supposed to continue without his _partner_?  It's the feeling of _"how could I possibly have fucked up so badly as to lose the most important person in my life?"_   It's the feeling of _"please, please come back, Roy, because I need you so very much."_  
  
It's the feeling that there's nothing Dick can ever do to make it better. It's the feeling that world is slipping away and all that matters is. . .

_//. . . He's seventeen._

_. . . They're having sex for the first time, trying so *hard* to be quiet, and failing miserably._

_. . The kisses are rough and tender, and insistent. Occasionally, Roy's teeth get in the way, and he bites down on Dick's lip._

_. . . Dick is trying to capture every freckle Roy has with his mouth and the sound of Roy's giggles echo in Dick's ear._

_. . . Dick loves the sound and vows to commit each one to memory._

_. . . Dick has no idea how to give head, but he's trying to make it perfect. Roy is bucking into his mouth as enthusiastically as possible without hurting Dick, and they’re being so . . very *not quiet.*_

_. . . Wally is banging on the wall, telling them to either hurry the hell up or go fuck somewhere else._

_. . . Roy only moans louder._

_. . . Dick is in his hospital bed, watching Roy go, certain he'll be back.//_  
  
But it's been a year since Dick last saw Roy, and he knows better now.

He's finally stopped believing Roy will come back.  
\--------  
**"Everytime I Hear Your Name,"  Keith Anderson**  
PS- DC? When country songs start making good soundtracks for your plots, that's probably a time you need to rethink your entire writing strategy. Just a friendly little FYI.

_"Finally got over that song of ours_  
Stopped chasing little red sports cars, to check the license plates  
And I quit driving by your place  
Back making the rounds at all the haunts,  
honky-tonks, restaurants,   
seeing some of our old friends  
feels good to dance again  
I can finally smell your perfume  
And I look around the room for you  
I could walk right by your picture in a frame  
and not feel a thing  
But when I hear your name

(Chorus)  
I feel rain fallin' right out of the blue sky  
And it's the 5th of May and I'm right there staring in your eyes  
And nothing's changed, we're still the same  
And I get lost in the innocence of a first kiss  
And I'm hanging on to every word rolling off of your lips  
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place  
Everytime I hear your name

Got someone special in my life  
Everyone thinks she'd make a great wife  
Dad says he thinks she's the one, reminds him of mom when she was young  
But it's way too soon to be talking about rings  
Don't want to rush into anything  
She's gettin over someone too, kinda like me and you  
She talks about him every once in awhile  
And I just nod my head and smile, cuz I know exactly what she's going through  
Yeah, I've been there too, when the conversation turns to you

(Chorus):  
I get caught in the "you were the only one for me"  
Kinda thought, and your face is all that I see  
I Know I can't go back, but I still go back  
And there we are, parked down by the riverside  
And I'm in my arms, about to make love for the first time  
And that's all it takes, and I'm in that place  
Everytime I hear your name

Stop thinkin' about the words I left unsaid  
(Everytime I hear your name)  
Stop trying to change the things that I can change  
(Everytime I hear your name)

In my heart I know you're gone, but in my head...  
I feel rain falling right out of the blue sky  
And it's the 5th of May, and I'm right there staring in your eyes.  
That's all it takes, and I'm in that place  
And there we are, parked down by the riverside  
And I'm in your arms, about to make love for the first time.  
And I can't explain, but I'm in that place  
Everytime I hear your name"


End file.
